Many people make resolutions as a New Year approaches. I realized that resolutions just didn’t seem to work for me, so I started something new a couple of years ago – I started setting intentions for who I want to be and how I want to feel in the upcoming year.

Being single at New Year’s can be a perfect time to set your intentions for the new year! I created a quick video to show you the process I use to do this.

After you watch the video, I’d love for you to post your intention below, or jump on over to my Facebook page and post it there. I’ll be posting mine there as well!

In Part 1, I wrote about lessons we could learn about listening to our intuition, about judgment and criticism, and about regrets around getting married, all from looking at Kim Kardashian’s recent marriage and separation. There’s one more lesson in the article she wrote that I want to share with you. And it’s a big one.

The Big “R”

Near the end of the article she wrote “…and I accept full responsibility for my actions and decisions…” (emphasis added)

How many of us are willing to do that? To accept full responsibility for our actions and decisions? Sadly, not very many.

Oh, I know it isn’t easy to acknowledge our part in the breakup of a marriage or relationship, to shine the light on ourselves. It wasn’t easy for me. But until we do, we stay stuck, and we remain a victim. We can’t move forward until we look under the microscope at our own actions and behaviors. It can be messy and uncomfortable. But it’s necessary.

Pointing Fingers

We have to get brutally honest with ourselves and admit that maybe we do have some responsibility in it. Because remember: when you point your finger at someone else, three of your other fingers are also pointing – right back at you.

Even if there was abuse in a marriage – physically, mentally, and/or emotionally – if someone stays after the first incident, they are partially responsible if it happened again. That does not mean the actual abuse itself was their fault or that they deserved it! Not at all. It does mean, however, that they have some responsibility for the fact that it happened after the first time.

You see, I know, because my first husband was abusive. He was so mentally abusive to me that I lost any sense of self-worth or self-esteem that I had. And yet I stayed, far longer than I should have. I rationalized it by saying we had a baby and I didn’t want my son to grow up in a divorced home because I hadn’t. We always have a story, don’t we?

And that “story” I told myself worked – for a while. Until the day my ex-husband raised his hand to hit me. By then my son was two years old. I knew that if he hit me, it would never stop. And that eventually he would hit my son. So I looked at him and said “Don’t. You. Dare.”

He didn’t. Four days later, I took my son and I left. I stopped being a victim. I took back my power.

Healing and Rebuilding

Since then, I’ve worked with countless men and women during and after their divorce. It’s never easy for anyone to admit their role in the end of their marriage – it’s so much easier to blame the other person! But when someone does admit their part in it, amazing things begin to happen in their life. That’s when the deep healing process begins. And that’s when they can start moving forward with rebuilding their lives. For some it comes shortly on the heels of their divorce; for others, it can take much, much longer.

As with anything – and everything – in life, it all starts from the inside, not the outside. Sure, your ex might be one of the biggest jerks on the planet for what he did. But the key is to learn from what you did, or what you didn’t do.

There’s always a lesson to learn. We just have to be open to learning and growing from our experiences.

Perhaps if we all took responsibility for the part we played in the end of our marriage, there might be a lot less trauma to the children affected by divorce, and we might move on to new relationships that are much happier and healthier.

Leave me your comments below and let me know how you’ve taken back your power and what you’ve accepted responsibility for!

I have never watched Kim Kardashian’s reality TV show. I don’t even know the name of it. But I don’t have to watch it to know that she married an NBA player in a wedding that was apparently off-the-charts, and that she has now filed for divorce, a mere 72 days after that spectacular wedding.

Regardless of anyone’s opinion of the situation, there are some lessons that we can all learn from all of it.

Romance & Dreams

I saw a link on Facebook this week that led me to an article Kim wrote. In it, she said several things in that really struck me.

“…I’m a hopeless romantic! I want a family and babies and a real life so badly that maybe I rushed in to something too soon. I believe in love and the dream of what I wanted so badly. I felt like I was on a fast roller coaster and couldn’t get off when now I know I probably should have. I got caught up with the hoopla and the filming of the TV show that when I probably should have ended my relationship, I didn’t know how to and didn’t want to disappoint a lot of people.” (emphasis added)

I’ll be the first one to raise my hand and and say that I can relate to most of that, well, with the exception of the TV show. And I can’t tell you how many of my clients have said the same or similar things to me through the years. And therein lies one of the lessons.

Listening to Our Intuition – Or Not

There was a feeling, that gut feeling, that something wasn’t right. And yet, for a multitude of reasons, we didn’t listen to it. Whether it was because we didn’t want to hurt our fiance, or the invitations had already been mailed out and we didn’t want to be embarrassed or humiliated by calling it off, or money had already been spent on wedding preparations, or any number of other reasons, we didn’t listen to our intuition.

Judgment and Criticism

Anyone that’s ever broken off a relationship knows how hard it is. Because doing so means the death of a dream you once had. It means starting over. It means possibly being judged by others, and most likely judging ourselves. We’re often our harshest critic. And it often means hurting someone else.

I have to admire her courage. It’s hard enough to go through a breakup of any kind, but I can’t imagine doing it in such a public way, knowing that she was opening herself up to an avalanche of criticism and judgment.

Many people are criticizing Kim because she filed for divorce while the ink on her marriage certificate wasn’t even dry. But that begs the question: Is it better to stay in a relationship that doesn’t fulfill you, just because society will judge you if you recognize the reality of the situation and make a different choice? I think not.

We all have to be true to ourselves, our values, and our beliefs. Would it have been better for her to stay in that marriage, have children, and raise them in an family that wasn’t the best it could be – whatever “best” might look like to each individual?

The truth is that no one knows what Kim’s true intentions were, and it really doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if it was just a big publicity stunt. It isn’t up to us to judge anyone else for their choices. Likewise, it isn’t up to anyone else to judge us for our choices.

Regrets

My clients often tell me they have regrets over getting married, staying in their marriage as long as they did, or ending their marriage because of what they think it will do to their children, among other things.

I always have two things for them to consider. One is that they did what they thought was right at the time. If it later turns out that’s no longer the best choice for them, then it’s okay to make a new choice.

The other thing I tell them regarding the issue of children is this: do you think it’s better to stay in a marriage that’s less than ideal and have your children grow up thinking your marriage is “normal”?

Whether it’s a divorce or breakup of a relationship, it takes courage to end it if it no longer serves you and fulfills you. Life is too short to settle.

In a few days I’ll post Part 2 of my thoughts about the lessons we can all learn from Kim Kardashian’s marriage and divorce.

In the meantime, leave me a comment below and let me know if you ignored your intuition and either went ahead with a wedding, or stayed in a marriage or relationship that you knew you shouldn’t have stayed in. There’s so much we can all learn from each other!

Recently I’ve been interacting with a lot of divorced people (both men and women) in various forums and groups. And it’s become abundantly clear that many divorced people are stuck.

They’re stuck in their misery. They’re stuck in their sorrow. They’re stuck in their grief. They’re stuck in their pain. They’re stuck in their story. They’re stuck in their fear. They’re just stuck in every way imaginable. And I get all of those emotions, because divorce causes you to go through every one of them. But some of these people have been stuck for a long time – often many years.

I don’t want that to happen to you! And I promise you, it doesn’t have to be that way. You don’t have to stay stuck. But how do you get “unstuck”?

It’s All Energy

You may have heard that everything is made up of energy. In my work and in my studies throughout the years, I’ve come across research and ways of testing energy levels. One of the best books I’ve found on this topic is Power vs. Force by Dr. David Hawkins. Without going into all the science behind it, he determined that everything vibrates at a certain energy level. He ranked the various energy levels of human emotions on what he calls a Map of Consciousness.

On the Map Dr. Hawkins ranked the various human emotions on a scale of 1 to 1,000. What we call negative emotions rank lower than what we call positive emotions. For example, Shame vibrates at a level of 20, Courage vibrates at 200, and Love vibrates at 500. It has been determined that most people vibrate at a level of right around 200.

Think about that for a minute. 200 out of 1,000? The emotions of Neutrality, Willingness, Acceptance and Forgiveness, and Peace all vibrate at levels above 200 – but most human beings don’t even vibrate at those levels. No wonder so many people are stuck for so long after their divorce! How could anyone move forward in a positive way in their life if their energy level isn’t at least equal to that of acceptance and forgiveness?

In case you’re curious 700 – 1,000 on the Map represents the vibrational energy of Enlightenment. Mother Teresa’s vibrational energy level was around 750!

I’ve been blessed to always have had a fairly high vibrational energy. When I left my marriage 4 years ago, I know my energy level dropped significantly. That’s normal during a time of personal crisis. Since that time, I’ve done things both consciously and unconsciously that have raised it back up to even higher levels than ever before – including finding my Life Lesson and my Life Purpose. I’ve developed tools and techniques that have helped me keep moving forward and raising my vibrational energy levels.

Getting Unstuck

Most people aren’t stuck intentionally – they either don’t realize they’re stuck or they don’t know how to get unstuck.

The good news is that there are ways to raise your vibrational energy so that you don’t stay in that stuck place. But here’s the thing: It’s up to you to choose whether you stay stuck or whether you learn how to raise your vibrational energy and catapult your life into new and exciting places.

If you’re having a difficult time getting moving forward after a divorce, leave me a comment below and let me know what area you’re having trouble in. If you’d like to remain anonymous, feel free to email me at lori@lorilatimer.com. And if you’ve found ways to raise your vibrational energy levels and get unstuck, I’d love to hear about them!

I’ve been listening to some Internet radio shows and reading some books about divorce recently, just to keep current with what’s out there. And I have to say that, with all due respect to the authors and guests on these radio shows, there is some very bad information being given out there.

One of the hardest things I’ve dealt with in my career as a family law paralegal has been explaining to clients why they probably shouldn’t listen to the well-meaning advice that they may have received from other people – friends, other family members, friends of friends, etc.

Here’s what I always tell them.

First, everyone’s divorce is different. The facts in your case might be similar to someone else’s, but they’re never going to be identical. Ever. So what happened in one person’s case may have nothing to do with what will happen in your case.

That leads to the second thing. Just like everyone’s case is different, everyone’s settlement is also going to be different.

State By State

The laws are different in every single state in the United States. So what happens in a divorce in New York will be completely different than what happens in a divorce in California. If Aunt Sally was divorced in Texas and tells you what you should do during your divorce and what you should ask for in your settlement – and you live in Wisconsin – well, there’s a problem there. Of course Aunt Sally only has your best interests at heart. But because the laws vary so widely from state to state, you cannot rely on what happened to someone in another state.

Laws Change

The same thing is true if someone was divorced even a few years ago and they’re telling you that you should do this or ask for that. For example, Georgia completely revamped its child support laws in 2007. So if someone was divorced in 2006 and received child support, it was calculated in a totally different manner than it is today. Laws change. What was true for your neighbor in her divorce may no longer be the law even in your own state.

There are some general guidelines that will apply to all divorces. Don’t get me wrong – there is some good information out there. But divorce is such an emotional time, and it appears that some of the advice out there is designed to take advantage of people’s highly emotional state during this time. Some of it is clearly designed to do nothing more than play the blame game. And some of it is just downright cutthroat – and mean – in what it suggests. Follow some of it, and you may be violating a court order or a law in your state.

Hiding Money?

Here’s one example. In one chapter of a book I just read the author tells women to hide money. Then in another chapter, the same book tells women that men always hide money so don’t settle anything until you’ve found all the hidden money. Seriously? This author apparently lives by the belief that two wrongs do make a right. I completely disagree.

I can assure you that in most cases, there is no hidden money. People like to think there is, but 99% of the time, there just isn’t. There are some pretty simple ways to determine if there may be missing money. An attorney knows how to do this.

Family Law

If you hired an attorney (and you better have an attorney that specializes in family law!), listen to your attorney. I mean really, if you aren’t going to listen to them, why did you hire them and pay them money??

Bottom line: Interview two or three attorneys that specialize in family law. Hire the one you feel most fits your particular needs. Pay that attorney. Listen to that attorney.

Be Selective

Divorce is never easy. Bad things can happen that cause more pain than you ever imaged. You have to be very selective about who and what you listen to because it can cause you even more grief than you need at this time in your life.

Just because someone has been through a divorce does not necessarily make them an expert, especially with respect to the legal aspect of divorce. It only makes them an expert in their own divorce!

Did you get any bad advice during your divorce? Or did you do something based on what someone told you and you later regretted it? Please leave me a comment below and let me know!

“Trust your instinct to the end, though you can render no response.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

A client recently asked me how she can ever trust anyone again after her divorce. I asked her what trust means to her, and she struggled to find an answer. Trust seems to be one of those words that we almost just pay lip service to, but often don’t stop to think about what it really means.

So we turned to dictionary.com for a definition. There were two definitions that made sense in this context:

1. reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.
2. a person on whom or thing on which one relies.

When a relationship has ended, for whatever reason and regardless of whose decision it was to end it, it’s hard to think about trusting someone again. Something you once thought you could trust and rely on is no longer there. So how do you ever trust again?

You First

There is only one way to ever be able to trust anyone ever again, and that is you have to trust yourself first.

And when your trust has been broken, that can seem like an impossible thing to even think about, let alone actually do. But it’s a critical step in reclaiming your life.

So how do you trust again? How do you rely on anyone or anything?

Intuition

You begin by listening to your inner knowing, your inner wisdom, your intuition.

It isn’t the voice in your head that shouts at you to get your attention – that’s your ego. Your ego tells you what you “think” you want, what you “think” you should do.

Instead, your intuition is that still, small whisper inside of you. It’s the feeling in your heart and your gut.

It’s like a muscle, one that may not have been used in a long time. And like a muscle that hasn’t been used in a long time, you have to strengthen it over time by taking small, consistent actions.

Get Still

Start by getting comfortable in the stillness. Every day spend at least five minutes being completely still, just sitting with no noise at all. Don’t worry about trying to quiet your thoughts – that will come in time. For now, just notice your breath. Then start to notice other feelings you’re having in your body. Is your heart racing? Are your feet or hands tingling? Just start paying attention to whatever you’re feeling in your body.

After you’ve done this for five minutes a day for a week, try doing it for 10 minutes a day for the next week. Challenge yourself to work your way up to 20-30 minutes a day.

This will help you train your intuition again. Then when you’re faced with a choice, or a challenge, or an opportunity and you don’t know what you should do, get quiet and still. Be aware of each choice or option you have, and then pay attention to how you feel about each one. If one is wrong, you’ll feel contracted and constricted. You might feel like there’s a knot or a pit in your stomach. Your breathing may become rapid and shallow.

But if it’s right, you’ll feel open and expansive. You may have that butterfly feeling in your stomach. You’ll “hear” that whisper. That’s what you trust.

And that comes from feeling, not from thinking.

The times in my life that I’ve made the wrong choices were when I made choices from my head, not my heart. I didn’t trust my intuition.

What I’ve found is that when I trust my intuition, I make the right decision. Every time.

And here’s another thing I’ve found. When you trust yourself, you’ll attract others who are also trustworthy.

So it isn’t about learning to trust someone else again. It’s about learning to trust yourself again.

You can’t have an honest, authentic, deep, fulfilling relationship with anyone else until you first have one with yourself.

How have you learned to trust again? Share your comments below!

Pain.

Raw, emotional pain. No one wants to experience it, yet it’s inevitable. We all feel it at different times in our life. Whether it’s the death of a loved one or the death of a beloved pet, watching your child in pain and not being able to do anything to take that pain away, the pain of a divorce, or countless other reasons, it can cut right through you and bring your life to a grinding halt.

As many different reasons as there are for pain, there are an equal number of ways we try to cope with it.

Regardless of what we do, the reason is universal.

We’re trying to avoid feeling the pain.

We’ll find any way and do anything to numb ourselves from it, run from it, and hide from it.

That is called avoidance. But until we face it, feel it, and kick it to the curb, we aren’t going to be able to truly heal from it. And we certainly can’t hide from our pain.

What you resist, persists.

The harder we try to avoid something, the more we do to ignore it, and the faster we try to run from it, the longer it’s going to hang around. Waiting for the next chance to jump out from where it’s hiding and yell “Hey, I’m still here!”

So how do we heal it?

We have to feel it.

In today’s society, life is so busy and noisy that most people haven’t actually felt their true feelings at a deep level for so long that they may not even remember what real emotions feel like.

All we know is that when we don’t like how we feel about something, we’ll do anything and everything to make it go away. But like a jack-in-the-box, it just keeps popping up.

Here are a few ways you can start to heal your pain by feeling it:

- Sit with it. And I mean sit there. Shut off all the noise and outside chatter. That means email and cell phones, too. Let the feeling of the pain wash over you.

- Go for a walk in a quiet place in nature. On the beach, on a mountain trail, or through a park. Try to go early in the morning when it’s quiet before there are a lot of people around.

- Cry. And I mean really cry. The kind of crying that Oprah calls her “ugly cry.” Sobbing, snotty, gulping for air kind of crying. Really let yourself cry and feel all the emotions that come bubbling up.

- Take a trip by yourself. Spend a few days in complete solitude and do some of the things I suggested above.

You may need to do any, all, or a combination of these things over the course of a few days or from time to time. The key is to put a time limit on it. Do it for an afternoon or a weekend. Just don’t let it drag on indefinitely. If you have to do it again in the future, do it.

Be sure to write as you do this. Write about what you’re feeling, where you’re feeling it, what caused the pain, and why it’s so painful. It doesn’t matter what it says and it doesn’t even have to make sense, just write to get it all out. Throw a great big, super-size temper tantrum on paper.

This isn’t easy, and it isn’t pretty. But if you do this, I promise you that you that the intensity of the pain will lessen, and it won’t last as long or come up as frequently. If you don’t do it, that jack-in-the-box is going to keep popping up!

Because remember: What you resist, persists.

I’d love to hear about other ways you’ve faced your pain. Please leave me a comment below. And remember: I’m here to support you in any way I can.

My life is about to change in ways I never imagined.

By the time you read this, I will have resigned from my full-time job as a paralegal.

Why this is such a big deal? Why am I taking such a big leap of faith? There are many reasons, but here are just a few.

1. I am paid very well for the job I do. I’ve been there for almost 10 years, and that’s longer than I’ve ever worked anywhere else.

2. I don’t have another job. I’m leaving to pursue my own business. No guaranteed salary. No benefits like paid holidays, vacations, health insurance.

3. In these current economic times, most people are hanging on to their jobs for dear life, not walking away from them.

4. I’m 51 years old. And single. And no, I don’t have a trust fund or savings account to live off of.

What I do have is a dream. A dream that’s bigger than any job I’ve ever had. And for a whole lot of reasons, this is the time for me to pursue that dream and turn my business into reality. It’s sort of like the perfect storm of circumstances has come together. And I’m listening to my intuition. I’m following my heart. For many years, through many relationships, I ignored my intuition and made decisions from my head. Those decisions were never in my best interest. It’s time to follow my heart and see what juicy, exciting experiences are waiting for me!

The attorney I’ve worked for these 10 years is a wonderful man and a great attorney. He and I make a great team. I know he won’t understand what I’m doing, and he’ll probably think I’m crazy.

But it’s time. Just like when you know a marriage or other relationship is over. When you know, you just know.

I honestly believe that everything we experience in life happens to prepare us for the next step or phase in our life. The question is: will we have the courage to take it and make that leap of faith?

I know that my life is better because of the last 10 years I’ve spent at this job. And I’ll be forever grateful for the opportunities I’ve had there.

However, the dream I have is much bigger than continuing in my paralegal job. I’ve been called to do something bigger for a long time. When I learned what my life purpose is last year, I knew it was just a matter of time before I did this. Now is the time.

Am I scared or nervous? No. And I think it’s because I believe in what I’m doing deep in my soul. Will it be easy? I don’t know. I just no that there is no other alternative for me than to follow my dreams.

It’s never too late to follow your dream. When something is over, let it go and have the courage to step into something new, even if you’re scared to death. Even if you don’t know what that next step is or where it will lead. It doesn’t matter if it’s a job, a marriage, a long-term relationship, a friendship, or where you live.

No matter how old you are, follow your heart. We each only have this one life to live on this earth. Find your purpose, find your bliss, and live it.

Is there a leap of faith you want to take? I’d love to know what it is, so please leave your comments below. And if I can support you, just email me at lori@lorilatimer.com.

P.S. Because my integrity is one of my most important values, I’m not giving a standard two-week notice. I will stay in my job until September 2nd. That gives them plenty of time to find a replacement for me and make the transition. That’s me being true to myself and the values I hold so high.

I wrote last week’s article about Letting Go after a recent conversation with one of my clients (I’ll call her Stephanie).

Stephanie and her boyfriend (I’ll call him Andrew) are both in their mid-40s. They dated in college but lost contact for many years. They ran into each other again by chance about 5 years ago and started dating again. Stephanie has never been married. Andrew was married for 11 years and has two children.

I started working with Stephanie last year after she and Andrew had broken up. Then they reconciled. A few months went by, and they broke up again. This has been their pattern over the past 5 years.

The reasons they break up aren’t really important. What is important is they keep doing this dance of being together and breaking up. So many times that they’ve lost count.

While it’s clear that they care deeply for each other, and even genuinely love each other, it’s just as clear that they are in a very unhealthy cycle.

School Time

When I did Stephanie’s hand analysis, I understood more about what was going on. Stephanie is in the School of Wisdom. A classic trait of someone in the School of Wisdom is sitting on the fence and not making a decision, which leads to hanging on to things that no longer serve them. In Stephanie’s case, it’s her relationship with Andrew.

On more than one occasion she has said that she knows that she and Andrew just aren’t meant to have a permanent relationship, but she keeps going back because she doesn’t think she’ll ever find anyone else.

Stephanie has been offered a job in another state. It would be a big promotion for her, one that she has earned. She had been hesitating about whether or not to accept it (another decision to make!), mainly because of Andrew.

Into the Future

Once she realized that sitting on the fence about Andrew was preventing her from making a decision about her job opportunity, it became much easier for her to end her relationship with him for good. It wasn’t easy, but she knows that she had to let go of that to be able to move into a future filled with amazing possibilities.

When I talked to Stephanie last week she said “I finally figured out that you shouldn’t have to struggle to “make” a relationship work, and if you do, then there’s something wrong with the relationship. Andrew and I struggled to make our relationship work for the past 5 years. That isn’t the kind of relationship I want.” Sometimes, the most loving thing two people can do is to end a relationship.

This allowed Stephanie to end her relationship with Andrew with love instead of hard feelings (and without a big fight, which was a huge step for her). She told me that she’ll always treasure the good memories she has of him and the good times they’ve had together, but she knows now that she had to make the decision to let that relationship go so she can see what’s waiting in her future.

She also did something that I thought was quite remarkable. She deleted Andrew from her “friends” on Facebook. She said it was too easy to see what he’s doing and who he’s talking to. She knew the temptation to check his page was just too great. She also doesn’t want him to know what she’s doing.

As soon as she got off the fence and made a definite decision about Andrew, she was able to make a decision about her career. She accepted the promotion and will soon be moving! She is well on her way to living her life purpose and is very excited about what her future holds.

You Gotta Have Faith

I’ve watched Stephanie’s growth and courage over the past couple of months. It’s never easy to end a relationship, even one that’s rocky most of the time. To do it, you have to believe and have faith that something better is waiting for you if you’re open to receiving it.

Have you ever stayed in a relationship too long? How did you know it was finally time to end it permanently?

Let’s face it. The end of a marriage or long-term relationship is the end of many things, including the hopes and dreams you once had. Even when the decision to end the relationship is yours, it can still be very hard to let go. And painful.

If you chose to end it, you may feel guilty. If your ex is the one that ended it, you may feel like you aren’t good enough. You may feel totally powerless. You may feel like a victim. You may feel rejected. Depending on your culture or religion, you may feel ashamed.

And all too often, we feel like a failure on some level, no matter who ended the relationship.

All of those things: guilt, not being good enough, powerless, rejected, a victim, a failure, are just some of the 10 life lessons. We all have at least one, and some of us have several.

A New Mindset

But what if we look at the end of a marriage or relationship in a different way? What if we change our mindset? Instead of looking at it as losing something, or pushing someone or something away, what if we looked at it as releasing what no longer serves us and stepping into something new, making room for something new?

Martha Beck said: “Denying an organic endpoint is like trying to animate a corpse.”

Sometimes we hold on to something that’s really just a memory because we’re too afraid of the unknown. I know I’ve done it in the past, but I’ve learned that it’s easier to let go and move forward than to hold on and stay stuck.

We all want connection. When we lose our partner, we’ve lost that connection. And it hurts, no matter what the circumstances are. The thought of being alone can keep us in relationships that have really ended; we just haven’t acknowledged or accepted that yet.

Your Most Important Relationship

As hard and painful as it might seem at the time, the end of a relationship can actually be a gift. That gift is the opportunity to reconnect with the most important person in the world: yourself.

It’s an opportunity to reevaluate where you are in your life, and to choose a new path to travel. It’s a chance to try something new, have new experiences, and meet new people. It’s a chance to design your life instead of living on autopilot.

It gives you new choices to consider, including whether to stay stuck in the past or to move forward into a new future filled with wonderful possibilities.

Transformation

It’s an opportunity to rebuild and transform your life. New doors will open. Will you be brave enough to walk through them?

As long as you’re holding on to a relationship that no longer fulfills you (or your ex), there’s no space for anything new to come into your life. It’s long been known that God, or the Universe, does not like a vacuum and will soon fill it up. Create that space for something new, wonderful, and even better to come into your life!

Memories and Lessons

There’s an old saying that goes something like this: People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. No matter which one your ex falls into, hold the good memories close, and learn from the lessons so you can move forward into a bright, beautiful new future.

Every ending truly is the opportunity for a new beginning. It’s up to you whether you take it or not.

The choice is yours. Let me know what choices you’ve made and what experiences you’ve had in letting go. Was it harder for you or your ex? Did you do something during that time that you later wish you hadn’t done?